Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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