YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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