Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
