I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
