woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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