you guys were way drunker than both of me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
