I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
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Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?