the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.