Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
