This girl is more easily done than said...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
