She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
