So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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