Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
