a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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