Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
