Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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