it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's never too late to be topless.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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