i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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