so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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