I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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