i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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