Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
