Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize