If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
