k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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