I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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