I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
