Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
