Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
