She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
