tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
