Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
