so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
