Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
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We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.