Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing

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  (313): oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing http://tfl.nu/2oov
  Replies (4) Good night (1757) Bad night (627)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"

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  (417): You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!" http://tfl.nu/8q6j
  Replies (6) Good night (2636) Bad night (790)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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  (513): you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that. http://tfl.nu/6e0s
  Replies (11) Good night (670) Bad night (4448)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  People still let you watch their kids?

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  (970): I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer. (1-970): People still let you watch their kids? http://tfl.nu/8t1p
  Replies (18) Good night (6040) Bad night (766)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.

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  (480): Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby. http://tfl.nu/ip7w
  Replies (12) Good night (5399) Bad night (1318)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule

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  (519): Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule http://tfl.nu/w6uq
  Replies (4) Good night (2641) Bad night (1579)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.

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  (832): I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella. http://tfl.nu/jiup
  Replies (35) Good night (3062) Bad night (1516)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?

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  (773): what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture? http://tfl.nu/g8fq
  Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (1442)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop

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  (217): She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop http://tfl.nu/g9k9
  Replies (6) Good night (1882) Bad night (606)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision

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  (712): Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision http://tfl.nu/by7d
  Replies (9) Good night (1540) Bad night (629)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!

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  (319): I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing! http://tfl.nu/3rw3
  Replies (3) Good night (1071) Bad night (415)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.

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  (310): I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't. http://tfl.nu/uo1x
  Replies (3) Good night (1029) Bad night (409)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.

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  (406): Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home. http://tfl.nu/eyf5
  Replies (6) Good night (844) Bad night (386)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast

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  (440): That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast http://tfl.nu/nk0g
  Replies (6) Good night (534) Bad night (225)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.

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  (651): i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again. http://tfl.nu/awxi
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (371)

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