I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
