Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.

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  (321): I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night. http://tfl.nu/rqck
  Replies (11) Good night (1378) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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  (631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc
  Replies (23) Good night (685) Bad night (2311) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking

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  (281): If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking http://tfl.nu/5ejk
  Replies (24) Good night (3775) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"

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  (302): He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!" http://tfl.nu/6j56
  Replies (34) Good night (1374) Bad night (4669) Order T-Shirt
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.

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  (786): I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying. http://tfl.nu/xg19
  Replies (13) Good night (580) Bad night (4905) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.

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  (775): A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins. http://tfl.nu/j7t3
  Replies (23) Good night (4615) Bad night (1035)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.

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  (509): He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother. http://tfl.nu/97xz
  Replies (20) Good night (6075) Bad night (1144) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.

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  (314): the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier. http://tfl.nu/vyfv
  Replies (6) Good night (4047) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.

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  (775): THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL. http://tfl.nu/wgt5
  Replies (19) Good night (3532) Bad night (1367) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.

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  (651): Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me. http://tfl.nu/26ae
  Replies (7) Good night (3207) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.

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  (608): All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college. http://tfl.nu/h1fv
  Replies (0) Good night (1713) Bad night (657)
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  (707): View more from California

  Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick

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  (707): Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick http://tfl.nu/qfj7
  Replies (3) Good night (1520) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero

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  (732): I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero http://tfl.nu/o55w
  Replies (10) Good night (1515) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.

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  (850) Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen. http://tfl.nu/kqm3
  Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I think that's justified.

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  (360): I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB. (1-360): I think that's justified. http://tfl.nu/5alt
  Replies (0) Good night (703) Bad night (137) Order T-Shirt

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