Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
