Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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