its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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