you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
