Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
