So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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