Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize