My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
