You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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