The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Shame - the story of my life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
