Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
