i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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