Where is the hickey?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
