I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I forget how to act sober
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