Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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