We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Plan B is the new Plan A
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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