Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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