I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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