It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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