She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
