That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
