Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
