she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
