it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
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where does the pee come out of this thing
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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