Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
