non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
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Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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